Earlier today the city of Jacksonville FL entered its besiegement at the hands of a giant octopus. Scientists say this is a particularly dangerous version of giant octopus in that it bears a formidable array of octopus lasers and missles/machine guns. This is particularly dangerous in combination that it has 8 arms (not counting its ability to shoot mouth lasers or breathe fire even though it lacks lungs…giant octopus beleives lungs are irrelevant.) Several military efforts to contain/defeat the octopus have ended in swift defeat/tragedy. The only thing that has shown to slow the octopus advance has been the playing of old tone loc cassette tapes, but advisors are still unsure of how long it will remain effective. Until the octopus breaks through the final lines of defense local citizens shall continue their evacuation under the cover of “funky cold Medina ” and pray the squid remains trapped under the raspy vocals long enough to escape.
Giant octopus eats/devours Jacksonville florida